dun say die...

just dropping a sudden thought.

you know...i am not a very optimistic person..i tend to stick to reality than thinking of the best.
and yes...i really do not dare to wish for the good things to happen and so on,coz often the things i wish doesnt come my way.
im relating this to the job interviews as of now.
yea..i wouldnt dare to hope which company picks me..but i just hope to be able to settle down on a company soon,coz its really tiring.

and..and...i dunno..i am starting to learn..no matter how many hurdles and setbacks there are in my life,i must not stop and laments about it.

coz right now..i see my life is gonna kick start a new chapter pretty soon.im gonna leave my comfort zone and step into what they called the jungle as soon as i have got a job.
yes..i cant deny and choose to give up that responsibility of my family that's landing on me.
i cant not NOT accept the fact that Jason is not gonna have a lot of time for me too,and i cant rely on him for everything.

sad as i may be..reluctant as i may be..but i have only got this one life.after this life..im not gonna exist in this world again.whoever knows about having next life or going to heaven or hell...i just know..after this life...everything..every memories and so..will be gone.

im like..what going to hit 20 in days to come.every single day is running so fast and i cant stop them from slipping away from me.

no matter how scare and sad and whatever negative feelings im suffering from..it is not a reason to stop me from moving on to the next day,without having today done with something.

you see what i mean...im kinda getting upset about gg to bed each time with a heavy heart..thinking another day is lost and i have done nothing significant.

i really wanna go to bed with the thought of i have gained another day and yes..a day well spend.

and since i cant change the country im staying,i cant do the jobs i have been wanting to do...but i shall make use to everything that comes in my way..and hopefully there is a chance in life,and im not too old yet to do what i have been wanting to do..
i hope..

this is not easy..especially for a person like me.it takes ten times the courage of a normal optimistic person for me to conquer every negative thoughts and move on.

yes..i wanna thanks my friends from here.
i dunno if Daren brother has been reading,but he has been someone gr8.
and my pretty pre pre pret-Yng..she has been my counselor for the past few years and yea,she is still working.;p
my other friends,though they are not reading..its just feel nice to know how they are doing,and let me know im never alone.
and my family..like i have always say..tehy are the reason that im working hard.

im writing this to everyone,even though they are not reading it..is becoz..well..we can never be too sure if there is a tomorrow in our lives,so just to say..if my tomorrow never meets with yours..i hope this messages can be pass to them and let them know that im thankful to know them in this life.

finally but never too late..is jason.i admit..i am able to go on becoz he is the one who provides me with such strength.
te' amo.